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Wednesday, January 20, 2016

The Gallows Humor of a Fed Up Doctor Dodger

I am a completely fed up doctor dodger. Yes, that is what I do. I have absolutely no trust or confidence in the doctors I have seen for the past several years, and I think that further pursuit is a useless waste of time. Pain management my arse! I never wanted that! I wanted a find the problem and fix it so that there is no more pain and I can lead a normal non cripple life again. Well, that seems to be too much to ask for! Besides, that Pain Management clinic was outside of my ability to travel range and that put me in worse shape. So, here I am managing myself. Yeah, that's right! How dare they think that any person is incapable of self management! I suffer daily, but not as much as I could be suffering. I listen well to my body and h-ll yes, I avoid anything that increases my pain if at all possible! One of my little jobs is less than 15 minutes away, I definitely don't have to sit around doing it, and I can use my reaching device so that I do not bend. I'm also totally alone so I can cuss and scream if I get hit with an unpleasant jolt into my toes. Yaya! I love that little job SO MUCH! It keeps me feeling like a warrior. This pain-there is no powering through it! Anyone that says something like that to me is asking for trouble and a serious my version of voodoo cursing since smacking them in the back repeatedly with a baseball bat would just land me in prison. I have the unfortunate inability to sit for longer than it takes to poop-and sometimes I have to manage that activity by dividing it into smaller segments..haha..of time on the potty. Yeah, I have an angry crippled sense of humor these days. I'm still conducting my kratom experiments and I can truly say that this herb does help more than a typical high dose course of poisonous NSAID 'therapy'. I have told several other fellow suffers of my moderate success with this renegade self treatment, as well as warned them of the pukingly wretched effects of overdoing it. My liver seems to be OK, I do eat milk thistle seeds as a protective measure. I have had a few bouts of wicked constipation from this herb, but not only does the thistle guard my liver, it also has laxative properties. If that isn't enough, I chew some good old chocolate laxatives. This is not a daily need. Plenty of roughage in my diet and liquids has also helped to prevent stalled traffic. Kratom is only good as long as I don't push myself past it's capabilities. It does not help me sit for longer periods of time, but it makes me much more comfortable when reclining and walking around on the job. Netflix helps too. Same with good books and vaping like mad. Hurrah for self management!! The type of insurance that I have coupled with the sociopolitical legal climate regarding chronic pain, back injuries and the irrational fear of suffering people becoming addicted to feeling better suggests that my choice is the best of the choices available. Doctors have actually offered me ineffective treatments geared to pleasing my insurance and other powers that be rather than helping me.
Don't imagine that I am a completely bed bound slug! Oh no, not yet! My version of physical therapy is two hours spent walking around and waving my arms six days a week, and I make things. Maybe not cabinets, but still-useful things. The e-juice has improved with time and experimentation and the soap has gotten cuter. Several herbal glycerites await filtering, transfer and trials. I go to the grocery, shop and get my children to help out with the carrying. I sure do love e-commerce too! Basil will be planted this year, possibly a few peppers and tomatoes. My girls will help with that. For now, It's what I can do that matters most. I do that which is important to me. I focus on the things that bring me pleasure of the mind and soul. There is always some little possible thing, and when this is gone and I am no longer useful in any way to my family and self,  (and it would have to be way way gone) there are plenty of plants that bring death. A few are conveniently growing within easy crawling distance. I don't need management in that area either. But, first things first! I have children to raise, wisdom to dispense, and tricks to ease survival in the meantime.

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