I have ranted in many posts about my dissatisfaction with the medical care that I have received without finding a way to change the pattern. You have also read of how I just gave up on it and went my own way, very miserably with minimal activiy, and certainly not much sitting around. I have dug, mined, read countless bits of information and discarded many. This is still happening, but my fighting urge has been renewed. A question popped into my mind that I had not thought of before: How can a doctors office that has a sign on its wall stating that it will accept no new patients with chronic pain as of 2011 accept a patient that has a clear trail of chronic pain in the transfered medical record in 2015? Hmmm. Wouldn't the least harmful thing to do have been to refer me somewhere else promptly after finding out that I was a patient with unresolved pain issues? Was it that these people wanted to negate my difficulties and deny relief or cure because they just didn't like me for having them? Another thought occured: Just because a 'medical professional' orders you to have nothing wrong with you and resume normal activities does not make it so! And, that is exactly what happened to me back in January of this past year. I have been stewing in a state beyond pissed. I thought, do medical professionals not need to review a patient's history before jumping to some conclusion? What exactly, I wonder did that nurse practitioner mean by 'normal'? Did she mean-walk around a little more, but forget about ever sitting like a normal human again? Did she mean go play football and rollerskate? I took it to mean go for it, whatever you think it is and for me that was going to work two part time jobs to get fulltime hours, plus running my own little business. Well, I certainly gave it my best shot, but the tell me to be well thing didn't work out after all. Isn't that like some sort of faith healing bunk technique? Alas, she invoked no deity, so thus the effect was nada. Finally, I am free of that horrid place of faithless non healing and on to a new and hopefully better place. I will no longer torture myself to meet some medical professionals fictitious presumption of how I should be either. If this new office has no couch, I shall ease myself down to the floor while I wait..Hehe, I hope they help me up from there, because I might not make it on my own. I could lie to you and say that I have not been depressed. Depression has been that little voice in the depths of my mind saying "Don't bother with them any more, no one can help you. If it was possible, it would have already happened. There is nothing for you." Oh, that sneaky little devil, I caught it! Maybe it's the joy of anticipation about the arrival of the P EZ that has inspired this turn around? Maybe its that I may just have found a way to give the people that have mistreated me and mismanaged my very real physical difficulties a good hard kick in the balls on behalf of myself and every other person like me. Of course, this is a purely metaphorical kick, and as far as I know, that nurse practitioner had no balls. I certainly didn't do a visual check though. I really really do hope I get a good kick in where it counts, ball or no balls. Like I said before, I don't have to be all cheerful and nice about coming to terms with my limits..and I am not. Not at all.
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